Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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