We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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