You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
