I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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