11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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