i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
