No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Houston, we have a blender
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
