Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
