Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
