my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You should frame my arrest warrant.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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