I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Im part way to drunk.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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