Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
