do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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