I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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