Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
