Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
