So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
