my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
