just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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