We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
