I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Randomize
