so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.