So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?