jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
