o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you