i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.