I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it