This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
