his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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