sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
