Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
