Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
