haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
