She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
