): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Vodka?
Forever.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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