Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
