So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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