your parents love me but you hate me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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