Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
