I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
