i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
