Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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