there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
