D3 body, D1 cock
too bad you live with your parents still
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
