I think my vagina is haunted
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
