I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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