I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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