9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
