is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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