i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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