The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
