I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
