Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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