Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
