is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
