Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
