A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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