I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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