Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
