And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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