Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
