Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
