I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You are the jesus of drinking
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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