I CAN MOONWALK!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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