How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
